I don’t understand negative people.. really, I don’t. I understand that there is a lot to be negative about now a days.. but c’mon! I am talking about the chronic negative people anyway.. the ones that can find the shitty lining in every cloud, every day.

Don’t they understand that it’s way more tiring to be a negative asshole than someone who tries to make things right? Or better yet.. why not be a constructive, negative asshole at least.. you know.. when you see something that isn’t right (which is just about everything) .. try to make it right at least. Nah… screw that.. that would be almost positive.. just sit there and bitch about it.

One on one, a negative asshole isn’t that threatening. You can just write them off as negative… and walk away happy.. no harm done. However, put them in a group and they can work wonders. They feed off one another, they gain momentum.. then eventually they feel justified and omnipotent.

I don’t want to create the wrong impression either. I’m not one of those eternally happy Mo’fos either. I don’t have the sunshine pump on full blast 24/7. I can bitch and complain with the best! Except the main difference with me (as with most people) is that I try and isolate my negative moments.

I also try not to dwell on it. Some things you just can’t change. Some things you just have to write off and move on. Try to make the best of it.

What I wish the negative assholes would understand is that they affect the people around them. Even the most noble of positive thinkers can become tainted by the constant hammering of a negative asshole. Sometimes it’s easier to just succumb to their drivel than it is to constantly fight it.

This is especially damaging when people must depend on the negative asshole. When you are in a position in life that requires others to rely on you.. and you can’t help but be a negative asshole you wield the power to make everyone with in an expansive radius around you miserable.

At first you won’t realize it.. because it starts small .. like a crack in a dam. Little by little it gets bigger and harder to patch. You can do a lot of damage before the dam breaks too. Water leaks all over the place, ruining things. People get tired of always patching the dam and fixing the damaged goods around it. Until one day.. well.. you can imagine the rest.

So to all you negative assholes out there.. look around you! Listen to what you are saying. Watch the facial expressions on the folks that are in ear shot of your words. Consider being constructive. Do it for them if not yourself.

If you must piss in someone’s Cheerios at least offer them a bowl of something else.

Sometimes you get a clue when you least expect it...

Someone said something to me today that made me sit back and reflect on how AWESOME my wife is..

I was getting a cup of coffee at work and was chatting with a colleague (wifey.. you will love who said this) and he asked me how my wife is doing. I said.. "she is doing well. She's working part time at the hospital.. her cookie biz is doing well and the rest of her time is all AVA 24/7.

He looked at me and said.. "tell me, why did she marry you again?"

At first I just laughed..because this guy loves to break my stones.. but then I really thought about it..

If my wife married me thinking I would be wildly successful, ensure financial stability, fill the house with lots of Tornetta's.. etc... She really got a raw deal.

I come home from work everyday thinking.. "man, Im tired.. boy.. all the work I do really stresses me out".. mean while.. my wife is probably on her 4th load of laundry, she has dinner in the oven, a cookie order on the cell phone and my daughter tugging at her shirt begging for her attention. My wiofe spends countless nights up past 11pm working on her cookie orders that need to be delivered the next day.. sometimes she does this knowing she has to be up at 6am to head to The Hospital to work with the crazies.

On the weekends she often cleans the house and never asks me for help.. knowing full well that she would rather be doing 101 other things other than cleaning the bathroom.
If she is not taking care of me and Ava.. she is at her parents house helping them, or she is watching one of her nieces, or she is off doing something else for someone else other than herself (say that 5x fast).

I guess what Im saying is.. I am certainly not up for Husband of the year.. but I am truly the one who lucked out when my wife said I do. It was perhaps the biggest sale I have ever made in my career of being a sales guy.

I love you Honey.. and thank you for saying "I do"

PS. Im going out with the boys tonight.. I'll be home after I get shit-faced and find my keys.

Facebook through the eyes of Max

Im sitting here staring at my puter screen. It's 12:31am and I should be in bed.

Im not tired though..but yet I know Im going to hate getting up in the morning. Im not happy..but Im not in a bad way either.. Im just .. here.

Im sitting here thinking about my life and how I got to where I am.. how I became who I am.. and it's interesting to say the least. In some odd, goofy kind of way.. I think Facebook brings this shit out of me.

I just heard a little cough in the room upstairs.. it's Ava.. my 4 year old daughter. The love of my life.. the reason I worry, the reason I work and often times the reason I find true joy in life.

Oh..whats that.. I just heard a stomach gurgle next to me.. it's my cat.. Bella. Ahh..the opposite end of the specturm.. the bane of my existence. How this cat is still alive, I have no idea. She should be pushing up daisies by now..hell, I have tried hard enough to make that happen over the years.

There was the time I locked her out of the house in CA..hoping the Coyotes would have her as a midnight snack. Of course, she has 9 lives and burned one that night.

There was the time I "accidentally" knocked her off the second floor balcony wall in our CA pad.. 7 lives left. Lets not forget the time I was brushing my teeth and she stuck her nastly little feline turd cutter in my face while trying to drink from the faucet. I think she still has some hair caught in the Air Condition vent from when I launched her across the hall. Can I get a 6 ?

Anyway.. I digress.. Where was I?
Oh, oh.. yeah.. Facebook is the genesis of all things pure in social networking. Today I heard that Myspace had to kick out 90,000 subscribers.. you know why? Because they were Sex offenders. I always hated that God Damned site. Too many kids and obviously too many predators.

FB has enabled me to reconnect with special people. I find myself talking to friends I have seen since grade school. Some of which I have already removed from my network. It was cool to see that they are alive and doing seemingly well, but If I didn't talk with them much in school..what are the chances that they would talk with me now?

What's most amazing to me about FB so far .. is the ability it grants me to keep in touch with my FAMILY and closest friends. People that I shouldn't NEED a site like this to link with.. are now closer to me than they would otherwise.

Recently I found a long lost cousin. I haven't laid eyes on her since she was almost my daughters age. Now I find that she is a beautiful adult and her sister is equally as beautiful. We have already exchanged notes about possibly meeting up in person. I can honestly say..with out FB..that may not have happened.

FB allows me to get a real-time look at how the people I care a bout are feeling, looking, doing, thinking and what they are experiencing.. and I gotta tell you.. that is awesome.

My friend Erika.. Erika, Erika, Erika.. do you remember the day you first told me about FB? I think I made some wise ass remark about how I hate those newfangled social networking sites..bla bla bla.. Well look at me now ! Hell, I even have a Blog !

I think I have managed to convert 43 people so far. Including my Mom & Dad.

Now.. just like any good thing.. it has it's drawbacks. For one, FB is like CRACK! It's addictive as anything you can imagine.

Mafia Wars? What is it? It's just 1's and 0's in a litteral sense..but it's also like a pile of bananas to a starving monkey.. I can't stay away from it.

You also have network stalkers too.. you know what Im talking about.. everyone has some.. You know..those people you invite into your network..or those that invite you.. and you are too "nice" to kick em out. You don't want to hurt their feelings.. so you tolerate them poking around your wall and posting annoying comments to everything you post up... (I wonder for how many people I FIT that mold).

Then there is the gray hair spawning people you have in your network.. like your younger siblings or family members that are out living it up like you did when you were in your teens and 20's. Sure.. you want to stay in touch with them.. but Good Lord.. you don't want to see them kissing strangers in their profile pics.. or passed out drunk.. or showing parts of their body that you saw when you were changing diapers for them...

But again.. it's like monkies and bananas.. you can't resist.. (by the way..do monkies really like bananas?)

Anywho.. back to reality.. it's now 12:57am and my lovely wife is no doubt bear hugging all the blankets by now. She'll be in the middle of the bed and I will be relegated to a postage stamp sized corner of the mattress if I don't want to wake her... and I DON'T... trust me.. Looks can't kill..but they leave scars.. nasty ones..

Thank you all for reading my babble.. until next time...

Stop the Bleeding in Philadelphia !

Ok, ok.. it’s been a while since I updated my blog.. so here it goes..

I wanted to rant about the bullshit that is going on in Philly right now. Ok.. we know that the Eagles lost to the Arizona Cardinals in the NFC Championship game this week. It really hurts.. especially since most of us went through the roof when they came back in the second half to go ahead by less than a field goal.

Then we watched the defense do their best imitation of Swiss cheese while the Cards poked through every single hole they had.

Oh well.. Another NFC Championship.. and another early vacation for the Birds.

THAT, however is not what I want to talk about.. what I want to talk about is the freakin out cry by Philadelphia media for McNabb’s head. I don’t understand it.. really, I don’t.

If Donovan McNabb leaves Philadelphia next season.. then it’s because the Philadelphia media chased him out. NOT the fans… no no no.. don’t make that mistake.. Don’t buy into the BULLSHIT that Philly fans are atrocious. They are mean.. they are cruel.. bla bla bla. Yes, we will boo you if you suck, we will boo you if you make mistakes (repeatedly), We will boo you when you lose.

HOWEVER, we will also raise you to immortal status if you prove you are a winner. If you act like a winner and not like a drama queen you will be respected. If you work hard, take and dish out punishment and celebrate when you score.. you will be loved.

I admit.. McNabb has shown that he has propensity for drama. He didn’t play well with T.O. , but then again.. who can? He didn’t exactly take kindly to being booed the day he was drafted by the Eagles, when the (not so smart) fans that showed up on Draft Day wanted Ricky Williams. Whatever! He’s human and most people wouldn’t like that.

The fact of the matter is.. He is the best QB the Eagles have ever signed. That is a FACT! Another FACT is that he achieved all of his career stats with out having a certifiable NUMBER ONE WIDE RECIEVER (with the exception of T.O. and in two years with T.O. he took the Birds to the Super Bowl).

The only thing he can legitimately be accused of is not winning a Super Bowl. I was always taught that you win AND lose as a TEAM. Yes.. he is the leader of the team..but he can NOT do it all himself. Lets look at this weekend’s NFC Championship game for instance.. I counted at least 4 dropped (catchable) balls, 1 missed field goal and 1 missed extra point. Plus add up the points allowed by our “NUMBER ONE DEFENSE” and you have an over all TEAM failure.

I’m not a radical Donovan McNabb supporter. Yes, I like him. Yes, I think he is a great QB. But I also think it’s incredibly unfair what the Media is doing to him.. especially (some of) the rejects on 610 WIP. I am not sure why I bother to listen.. but I do. And honestly I am starting to think they are the way they are because they think it’s good radio. I am not convinced that they actually believe all the stuff they are saying.

So.. in summary.. my point is simple.. Football players are professionals.. I understand this. They should be able to accept a fair amount of ridicule. But the way these radio personalities are attacking him on EVERY single thing.. seems a bit over the top and as a human.. I don’t blame him if he packs up his bags and heads to a new city.

I will even go so far as to say this.. if McNabb leaves Philly and goes to Minnesota or some other city that is a legit contender.. he will succeed and even though the radio people will not admit it.. they will wish he was back.

Lets go Phillies !

A letter to my angels

September 29, 2008
Dear Nicholas and Massimo,

It’s Sunday night and I came to visit you today.. my first time back in a long time.

I am sorry about that guys.. It’s not because I don’t love you. So much has happened since I last came to visit.. I don’t even know where to begin.

I guess.. first off.. we have to thank a company called SkillSurvey and a product called Position Manager.. if it were not for either of them.. I would not be here this weekend J.

Daddy no longer works for that space company. I really liked it there..but some things had to change so Daddy got a fresh start with a new company.

Mommy is baking cookies now and she sells them. She seems to enjoy it and it makes a lot of people happy. Mommy and I both miss you very much and wish you were both with us. We think about you often and Mommy prays with your sister Ava every night .. and every night they pray for you and ask you to watch over Ava. I am sure you guys hear them and keep a watchful eye on your little sister.

Speaking of Ava.. she misses you very much. I am not sure that “miss” is the right word as she doesn’t really know enough yet. She does love you though..and I KNOW that she would love to have her two brothers with her today. Some day she will be old enough to understand and we will explain it all to her.

I came to visit you twice in two days.. can you believe it? I am so afraid that a long time will pass before I can come out again that I wanted to come sit with you a second day..so I stopped by on my way back to San Diego today.

I wanted to leave something for you guys, but I couldn’t think of anything.. sad.. I know.
Knowing that you are my sons.. I figured flowers wouldn’t do… I thought of leaving you a football .. considering it was that time of year.. but I couldn’t find one…. Daddy just didn’t come prepared. I didn’t know what I would feel when I finally got to you.. I didn’t know what to do..

When I got to you on Saturday afternoon.. the sprinklers were on.. Thankfully they were JUST out of reach so I could sit and talk to you. It was weird.. I was happy to finally be out in CA so that I could sit with you..but It felt weird with out having mommy with me.
Mommy really wants to come out and see you as well.. and I will do everything I can to get her out to CA.

Daddy has to go now boys.. I have to get some sleep so that I can be ready for work tomorrow. I love you and miss you..and wish I could have done something to keep you here with mommy and I.

Love you..
Dad

Video Gaming ain't all that bad...

Aight people.. I have a confession to make...

I'm 36 years old... a family man.. a business professional ....

and yes... I play video games.

I got my start back when I was just an ankle biter and my Mom and Dad bought me Pong.. Oh yeah.. I said it.. PONG ! Then it was Atari... then Nintendo... then Sega... then PlayStation... and now I own an XBOX 360.

So far though.. you are probably thinking.. so what.. I've done all that too.. but I bet I can one up most of my readers. I don't stop at just console games. I am one of those guys that buys his home computers around the PC's gaming capabilities. If the PC can't run today's greatest FPS (First person shooters for you noobz) or if it can't handle WoW in window mode while I'm surfing porn... I mean YouTube in another window.. I don't want it.. !!

But thats not the point of my story.. I wanna tell you about something that's pretty damn cool that most people who don't understand PC gaming will probably never get... nor will they ever experience..

About 9 or 10 years ago.. my addiction to PC gaming began.. it began with a game called RavenShield. This was by far the most addictive video game I have ever played and it was the one that got me hooked.. most likely for life.

I joined a clan... A clan is an online gaming community where a bunch of people get together to form a virtual team to play against other clans in tournaments and leagues (held online) in their game of choice.

I could literally write pages about this whole thing.. but to spare you all I am going to just write about one small part that I think you will all appreciate. Over the years .. video games have taken a beating in some circles.. too violent ! too racy ! deters kids from exercise.. or whatever..

But one thing you won't see on the news or in the papers is that you can actually form friendships through video gaming.

10 years ago I was playing RavenShield online.. running around in a virtual world shooting guys (and girls) who were on an opposing team trying to eliminate my squad. I ended up on a squad with a guy who's online name was "Napalm". Napalm was a member of a clan called "DNS" or Dirt Nap Squad. He and I were chatting back and forth while playing and he asked me if I was in a clan.. I said No..

At that point I never thought I would join one.. I thought it was "weird".. but then I was thinking.. this kid is pretty cool and these guys all seem like they are having fun.. so when he asked me if I wanted to join.. I said.."what the hell"..

I ran out to the store that weekend and bought myself a headset with a mic on it.. and that night I was online, playing a video game, with a bunch of guys I would never meet face to face.. just shooting the shit.. and playing a video game. It was an instant bond that was soo frickin weird.. but strangely comforting.. It was like the first day at a new school.. you are all there for a common purpose and you don't know each other..but yet it's pretty easy to introduce yourself and start a conversation.. etc.

Well anyway.. here we are 10 years later and I am still in a clan.. Now it's "A4D".. Appetite for Destruction. My online handle is "Max".. the same as my pen name here on the Blog.

Max actually comes from "Maximus" the hero of the movie "Gladiator". I thought that was a cool name... bad ass.. no one would want to mess with "Max".. in real life.. or in a video game.

The cool part of all this is that over the past 10 years.. I am still gaming with some of the very same guys that I met on that first weekend.. Maro, Wallace, Bradawg, Prodigy, Reaper.. they were all guys from my first Clan experience.. I am still gaming with these guys today..10 years later.. we are in the new clan and I have made some new friends along the way .. Mofo, Onlyone, Merc, SixpointBuck, Decoy, Cop, Snags, Wolf, Rambone, ... I could go on...

Whats amazing to me.. and it dawned on me tonight.. is that some of these guys I have known for TEN YEARS.. I have only seen pictures of these guys.. I have NEVER met one of them in person.. I know their voices well.. and I feel like I know some of them better than I know people I work with.. weird huh..

During those 10 years I have moved from PA to CA and back again.. I have bought a house, sold a house and bought another.. I have changed jobs 3 times, had children and lost children, lost family members and welcomed new ones.. and many other life events.. and one thing that has remained constant .. is this group of guys (and a few gals)..

I have shared some pretty personal stuff with these guys... I have vented to them about stuff that bothers me.. I have listened to many of them vent as well.. offered advice to some and taken some as well..

This group of adult men, family men, guys with real lives and real jobs.. have offered their prayers when needed... laughed when appropriate and were just there to listen too. These are traits that are often not there with people we call friends and family in "real life"..

The picture you see above is my Avatar in the Clan forums.. The Avatar is supposed to be a picture that matches your online persona. Mine is special.. that picture is Max... the new Max.. Max from about 5 years ago when my online name changed forever..

You see.. when my son Max died.. 5 days after birth.. back in 2003, I wanted to have something to help me remember him .. So I shortened my online name from Maximus to Max. It wasn't complete so I asked my buddy Mofo (who is GREAT with photoshop) to create an Avatar for me. I left it up to him and his creativity.. I just asked him to help me out by giving me an Avatar that matched my name and the story behind it..

When he gave me this Avatar.. he said to me "This is what I thought your son would look like if he was gaming with us today"...

To this day.. that thought still makes me well up inside.. a guy who I have never met.. only talked to online over the past 10 years ... thought enough of me to put real thought and creativity into this little task.... and it's gonna stay with me forever..

Next time you hear a politician suggesting that Video games are messing up our youth.. think again...

LMo's World: Liberal Hypocracy

LMo's World: Liberal Hypocracy

I liked some of what I saw on LMO's blog.. you might too.. check it out