A letter to my angels

September 29, 2008
Dear Nicholas and Massimo,

It’s Sunday night and I came to visit you today.. my first time back in a long time.

I am sorry about that guys.. It’s not because I don’t love you. So much has happened since I last came to visit.. I don’t even know where to begin.

I guess.. first off.. we have to thank a company called SkillSurvey and a product called Position Manager.. if it were not for either of them.. I would not be here this weekend J.

Daddy no longer works for that space company. I really liked it there..but some things had to change so Daddy got a fresh start with a new company.

Mommy is baking cookies now and she sells them. She seems to enjoy it and it makes a lot of people happy. Mommy and I both miss you very much and wish you were both with us. We think about you often and Mommy prays with your sister Ava every night .. and every night they pray for you and ask you to watch over Ava. I am sure you guys hear them and keep a watchful eye on your little sister.

Speaking of Ava.. she misses you very much. I am not sure that “miss” is the right word as she doesn’t really know enough yet. She does love you though..and I KNOW that she would love to have her two brothers with her today. Some day she will be old enough to understand and we will explain it all to her.

I came to visit you twice in two days.. can you believe it? I am so afraid that a long time will pass before I can come out again that I wanted to come sit with you a second day..so I stopped by on my way back to San Diego today.

I wanted to leave something for you guys, but I couldn’t think of anything.. sad.. I know.
Knowing that you are my sons.. I figured flowers wouldn’t do… I thought of leaving you a football .. considering it was that time of year.. but I couldn’t find one…. Daddy just didn’t come prepared. I didn’t know what I would feel when I finally got to you.. I didn’t know what to do..

When I got to you on Saturday afternoon.. the sprinklers were on.. Thankfully they were JUST out of reach so I could sit and talk to you. It was weird.. I was happy to finally be out in CA so that I could sit with you..but It felt weird with out having mommy with me.
Mommy really wants to come out and see you as well.. and I will do everything I can to get her out to CA.

Daddy has to go now boys.. I have to get some sleep so that I can be ready for work tomorrow. I love you and miss you..and wish I could have done something to keep you here with mommy and I.

Love you..
Dad